another moral hangover. fuck.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Who died my cat blue again?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
