I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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