standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
