So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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