We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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