This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
