Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
