i barfeds in our rink
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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