dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
