see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
