We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize