we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
