Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
