i think my tv is drunk
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All I want is dick and wine.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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