I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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