can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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