i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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