he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
