If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize