What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
