So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
