Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
