just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize