When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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