we have pet lesbian snakes
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
