He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
