$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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