Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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