so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
