I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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