apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
