I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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