didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
