I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
