Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
