But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
