when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
