I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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