Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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