It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
