I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
