i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
