yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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