Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize