Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
