i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My vagina just clenched in fear
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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