ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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