turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
