Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
