She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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