Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
