How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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