Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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