Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
