Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize