omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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