Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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