I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
