I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize