Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
