SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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