I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize