Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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