did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dicks are not precious.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
