I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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