Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
