): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
