sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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