I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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