so that wasnt chicken after all
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
